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--Emily Claire Tamblyn"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"--Dustin Hoffman"I asked my wife 'On a scale from one to ten, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said 'You know I'm no good at fractions'".--Rodney Dangerfield"I told my girlfriend that unless she expressed her feelings and told me what she liked, I wouldn't be able to please her. So she said 'Get off me'".--Garry Shandling"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked!'"--Jerry Seinfeld"In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind".--Nora Ephron"My wife likes to talk to me during sex. In fact, the other day she called me from a motel".--Scotty Record"My sex life is very bad. If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all".--Henny Youngman"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis and. Our garden Wasn,t all that big, but our cheap patio loungers, table, chairs and rusty barbecue got used a lot that year. Our friends John and Rita Coombes turned up,about 3 pm while we were wearing swim suits my wife in a revealing black bikini which showed lots of her thick pubic bush and me in brief trunks. John and Rita soon changed into swim wear using our bathroom and joined us for drinks in the garden. Once we,d had a few drinks the women had dozed off and were softly snoring when I had an idea for some sexy fun. I went in to get some velvety cord I,d bought months before to bind Sarah during a kinky session and as I had two sets John and I Soon had the female,s wrists and ankles tied to the chairs carefully removing their costumes without waking them prior to tying them up so they were immobilised. John and I decided to start with Sarah and as John began to tickle my wife under her arms and her titties from the side I began to finger her juicey slit. Of course she awoke almost.
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